Suburban city edges. End of summer heat clings like sweat on skin. I drag my feet on grimy sidewalks. Kebab oil stench hits hard, stirs nothing now. Twilight creeps in, orange sun bleeding through clouds. Storm’s coming. I crave it to wash the filth away.
Big apartment high up. Alone since Mom left for her province. Elevator neon buzzes harsh. Mirror shows pale ghost: thin face, dark circles, sweaty temples under thick brown curls. Tired eyes hide deeper shit. Not just another crap day. Insomnia, pills, migraines. L’s gone. Void echoes in empty rooms.
The Awakening
Couch. Migraine pills kick in. Euphoria fades to numb float. Pain ebbs. Nights brutal since she left. Vomit mornings. Concrete hurt. Body screams what mind won’t.
Decision hits like thunder. No more fighting. Embrace the dark pull. Heart races. Cock twitches at the edge. Transgression calls. Tonight, I let go. Excitement builds, hot pulse in veins. Forbidden rush. No one knows. Here, I’m free.
Pills down. TV drones. City lights infinite below. Sleep pulls. Fall into black void. Chute endless. No fear now. Hunger grows.
Wake on cold bathroom tile. Naked. Back aches from floor. Heart pounds. Neon grates on. Mirror: pale corpse stares back. Ribs sharp, skin ghost-white.
Fingers itch. Nails dig in. Rip skin. Blood wells hot, trickles chest. Pain explodes into fire pleasure. Scratch deeper. Flesh tears. Crimson rivers down torso, belly. Gasp. Cock hardens. Thrust hips against air. Raw ecstasy. Nails grind ribs. Blood sprays mirror. Smear words: nothing else.
Deeper. Visions crash. L in tub, mutilated. Mom saws limbs, grinning. My child self screams. Blood pools. Join it. Claws rake harder. Orgasm builds from gut. Forbidden peak. Cum mixes with gore. Shake. Moan low.
The Act and the Secret
Not first time. Sleep pulls me here. Self-flay ritual. Mom’s secrets unearthed: letters, news clip. She butchered L. For me. Punished her leaving. I watched, drugged. Forgot. Now remember in blood bliss.
Routine shatters. Calls ignored. World deaf. Invisible ghost. Crave more.
Night again. Pills. Camera rolls. Fall into abyss. Red glow soul-deep.
Wake. Door splintered. Blood everywhere. L’s ghost screams. Mom turns: ‘Good boy.’ Visions fuck me raw.
Clean up. Dawn city stirs. Back to couch. Pills stash empty soon. Thrill lingers. Skin scars heal slow. Mark the secret.
No doc. No cops. This mine. Transgression owns me. Society blind. Here, confess. Rush of daring unthinkable. Blood high better than any fuck. Anonymous. Addicted. Nights call. Will answer. Nothing else.